Photos from Small World Stories by Danielle Voirin.

Dear Friend and Reader:

I'm here to wish you happy holidays -- but as usual, not in the usual sense.

I know this is the very hardest time of year for most people. Families are wonderful, and they are brutal. The holidays are charming, and quite a few people would rather crawl into the back of their closet and hang out with their summer clothes until they pass.

The odd part about families is that typically they don't live up to the advertising, especially the part about being responsive to an individual's needs. People might 'care' and then in the end, they act (emotionally) as if they don't. Usually they are competitive systems rather than supportive ones.

When we get around our family of origin, neurological patterns that were established when we were very young -- 18 months or two years old -- can be triggered, and man some of those people really know how to push our buttons. You may find people treat you like you have not lived the last 40 years of your life for some purpose, quite literally like you are not an adult. And this can be demoralizing.

It takes a lot of strength to stand up to one person, much less a whole bunch of people with a lot of expectations about who you are. If you're at a family event, I sincerely recommend hanging out with the kids, with the dog or cat, and in a pinch, the fish tank will do. I assure you that at any family gathering there is at least one other adult who sees through what is going on...look for the twinkle in their eye. Remember, the kids especially need attention.

Meanwhile, there are a lot of people who are stuck alone for a holiday and want nothing more than a little company. There are people who are sick who just want to feel better. There are many who want nothing more than to be in contact with a loved one who for whatever reason is not around. We have somewhere close to 200,000 American families today where a father, mother, son, daughter or sibling is gone fighting a war that most people don't even remember. Please keep them in your prayers, and if you know someone who doesn't have someplace to go, call them up and invite them with you.

Please, take it easy on yourself. If you're traveling, focus on getting where you're going safely, and then on getting yourself home. And hey, let's keep Christ in Christmas and while we're at it, Mary Magdaline.

Lovingly,

2:58 am, Dec. 24, 2007.