By Dani Katz
|Editor’s Note: Eric is taking a short break from essaying and blogging; we all thought this was a fabulous idea. Last week you read about some unusual circumstances in Los Angeles and a writer who has a theory about them. This week we get to hear from her personally; her name is Dani Katz. Also please see Steve Bergstein's coverage of yesterday's landmark Supreme Court decision about detainees at our mini-concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay. This decision restores the principle of habeas corpus to United States law -- the one thing that stands between us and totalitarianism. [Eric says he plans to cover the astrology of this decision in the July 4 edition of Planet Waves Astrology News, along with the newly released birth certificate of Barack Obama.] And in other news, Mercury retrograde in Gemini draws to a close next week, coming in a cluster of events involving the Sagittarius Full Moon on the Galactic Core and the solstice. We will be back Tuesday with a special report (possibly in audio format) about this interesting cluster of events. Till then, keep your patience. This has been a challenging retrograde for some. Until next week, this is Rachel Asher for Planet Waves.
I MET G. THROUGH a series of synchronicities and, aside from his full pink lips and his gushing adoration of my art, my writing and all things me-related, the magic was the attraction.
Illustration by Dani Katz.
Still spinning in the wake of unconventional heartbreak (my threesome imploded, I know, shocker!
I wasn't looking for much except an erotic distraction and an ego boost. G. had hidden a note in a copy of The Year of Magical Thinking
that was on hold for me at the Los Feliz Village Library. He wrote that he was a longtime fan of my LA Weekly
articles, in which I wax silly and sunny about art and all things weird and wonderful here in Los Angeles, such as interdimensional sound chambers and lunar eclipses and secret mystery school rituals and my self-inflicted herbal abortion gone epically awry.
I wouldn't normally respond to a random bit of correspondence such as this, but G. had a couple things going for him: a) excellent grammar, punctuation and parallel structure; b) the exact same name as my father.
As well, after retrieving the note and the book, I walked across the street for a dose of gut-wrenching, heart-ripping closure over tea with the husband half of the couple I'd just broken off with, a gorgeous man with whom I was definitely, desperately, dumbly in love, and whom I couldn't have, for obvious reasons. Devastated and teary-eyed, we walked to my car, which was parked at the library.
He was present and probing and very, very psychic. He not only knew I was an Aquarius, but precisely what bin food item I steal every time I go to Nature Mart, our local hippie health food store, which is almost every day (chocolate almonds).
"I saw your book on hold," he said. "I was going to leave you a note."
Clearly, the Universe was trying to tell me something.
I Googled G. and found my way to his website. Actor…comedian…magician.
I dialed his number before I had a chance to figure out what I was going to say.
"Is this G. the magician?"
"Yes, it is."
"It's Dani Katz. Wanna help me move tomorrow?"
While he didn't help me move, he did stop by later the following night while I, damp and dirty, unpacked.
"You're gorgeous," he gushed.
I liked him immediately.
I rarely meet men who interest me, but there was something about G. that I really dug. We had an easy, comfortable rapport, and I felt like I'd known him for lifetimes. He was present and probing and very, very psychic. He not only knew I was an Aquarius, but precisely what bin food item I steal every time I go to Nature Mart, our local hippie health food store, which is almost every day (chocolate almonds).
He kissed me, hungrily, and placed one hand flat over my heart. "Enough green," he said. "You don't need it anymore. You need red, pink -- it's time for rose quartz."
There was no way he could have known that I'd been applying green Aura Soma color therapy oil to my heart chakra for the past nine months. As well, I'd just made myself a rose quartz and iolite necklace. I hadn't yet put it on, but it was waiting for me in a box somewhere amidst the chaos of my new Hollywood Hills bungalow.
We briefly made out. He pulled away and told me that he's been celibate for eight months, and is holding out for true love.
This wasn't the first time I'd heard an attractive straight man tell me he's decided to opt out of sex until he finds his dream girl. It's more the rule than the exception these days, as guy after guy after guy refuses to give it up, holding out for happily ever after, while we women fuss and squirm in a constant state of sensual starvation.
Between the madness of the move, the attachment to The Couple, and a few dozen deadlines, I had neither the time nor the headspace to think about G.
Two days later, a bouquet of flowers appeared on my doorstep. I texted G.
"Are these from you?"
"I have no idea what pink flowers you're talking about."
Another week passed, with little thought of the weird magician who likes the way I write but apparently, not the way I kiss, when he called to explain why he couldn't see me romantically. As a natural born psychic, wizard, magic-man, he'd called in all sorts of strange energies and, after a run-in with a handful of dark entities as well as the accumulation of an obsessive-compulsive disorder by way of excessive magical thinking, he'd spent the past year denying the existence of magic and cozying up to the mundane mediocrity of this dense, third-dimensional realm. As I was a witchy girl, relatively obsessed with magic and mysticism, he couldn't possibly get into the mix with me.
It's fear, it's ego, it's a futile attempt to cling onto the faded shreds of the masculine paradigm that have thrown the balance of energies on our planet so off-kilter that we are now in an evolve-or-perish scenario.
I've had plenty of guys disentangle themselves from me on the grounds that I was "too out there" for them. I get it. I dig deep and soar high, and it takes a special sort of weirdo to jive with it. Ain't no thing. I let G. off the hook as far as I was concerned, but called him out on denying his path, suggesting that instead of running away from magic, he acquire some tools, or seek guidance, to help him navigate these strange realms. We went back and forth about it for a few minutes, until he interrupted me to ask:
"If you could have a white rose or a red rose, which would you choose?"
There was an immediate knock at my front door. I opened it to find G. standing there, white rose in hand.
He dragged me up to my sleeping loft, kissing me all the way.
"What about your noble celibacy?" I muttered.
"I already love you. I know it sounds weird, but I really do."
Weird as it was, I knew he really did.
Up in my bed, my clothes came off quickly. He'd stripped down to his underwear and had me pinned to the bed, when he looked up, caught sight of my altar and froze.
"Oh no," he cried.
"What?" I said.
"You have an altar!"
Having just moved, I was working with a scaled-down version -- a few crystals, a couple trinkets, a feather, a framed picture of Swami Nirmalananda and a tarot deck -- nothing earth-shattering or especially spooky.
"This is L.A," I said, pulling him back to me, trying to take his mind off it. "Every girl has an altar."
He pulled away and reached for his clothes.
"G., what's happening?"
"G., it's not a big deal. We don't have to make out. Let's just talk about what's going on in your head."
"I can't," he said, buttoning his shirt as quickly as his fingers would allow, making a hasty retreat down the stairs and out the door.
I lay in bed, naked, riled, confused, though not terribly, or in fact even remotely, upset. Rejection had become my default setting, as I'd been playing the role of aggressor for months, fielding all sorts of lame excuses for erotic avoidance while raking in one shade of No
after the other. I'd already worked through the I'm repulsive, I'm crooked, I'm broken
bullshit. I was clean on this one. It was as traumatic as burning a pot of quinoa (why I can't ever seem to remember I'm cooking is beyond me) -- you toss the mess, soak the pot and eat a banana for dinner -- which, as I reached for my hot pink Babeland vibrator, is exactly what I did.
Having soothed the whimper of my otherwise abandoned nether regions and soul, I pondered the evening's bizarre turn of events.
The larger repercussions of experiencing this healthy, attractive man sprint as far away from my naked and loving embrace as possible are not lost on me. Our world is getting weirder and weirder, and men have gone mad. We are accelerating into an era of the Divine Feminine, reconfiguring to collectively come together in a higher vibration. Many women are stepping into their full power and their brightest potential while the men drag their feet.
It's fear, it's ego, it's a futile attempt to cling onto the faded shreds of the masculine paradigm that have thrown the balance of energies on our planet so off-kilter that we are now in an evolve-or-perish scenario. It's either wake up and step into the light, or blow ourselves up and watch it all crumble.
You could argue that either way it's fine -- it's all God, it's all perfect -- but, this planet is beautiful and this Earth game is fun and this sensory experience is a blessing to be enjoyed and honored and revered; and so, I cling to my own threadbare hope that these men that I adore gather the courage and the humility that exists within each and every one of them to step into their own potential -- to be big and bright and bold enough to cozy up to their own Divine Feminine, to be soft, to be sensual and to re-engage in this erotic play that drives this creative dance that is love, that is joy, that is life.
By Judith Gayle | Political Waves
GOOD IDEAS are everywhere, floating in the ethers. The old axioms tell us that there's nothing new under the Sun, so apparently all those ideas are part of the group mind, the universal consciousness, and it's shifting daily. There's virtue in that because if a light bulb goes on over your head, you can count on the same one appearing over someone else's. Oh, there are plenty of bad ideas going around too, waiting for the good ideas to catch up and dissolve them. In fact, that feels like how the world is recreating itself: the clash of the productive ideas versus the non-productive ones, all riding on this roller coaster experience that we call paradigm shift.
Collective idea. Collage by Danielle Voirin.
It's been a week full of conflicting ideas. While we are still experiencing a good deal of overwhelm in this new energy, we're also getting our sea legs on how to navigate the process. Paying attention is one of those balancing acts we do where part of us is doing our life, part of us is witnessing it and part of us is listening to that still, small voice that informs us.
This capacity to exist within our own mind, on many levels, has only been available to all of us lately; it used to be the exclusive territory of the spiritual greats who had the patent on enlightenment and gave us strict guidelines to achieve it. When I first learned about meditation, for instance, I found it almost impossible because the process itself was a very tight box: sit, get silent, empty yourself. Tough stuff for a mutable sign. After years of exploration, I discovered that meditation can take on many faces, and the artist in me locks into that energetic space effortlessly.
A form of meditation can be found in anything you're able to lose yourself in, anything that will fold time and make you look up from your activity realizing you're hungry or late for something, or that you lost a whole morning to the intensity of that liquid state you'd floated away in. For me that happens effortlessly when I tap into creativity. It can be found in music or nature or cooking or anything that gives you true pleasure; whatever you enjoy so completely that you lose your analytical grip on everything else around you.
Weekly Horoscope for Friday, June 13, 2008, #718 - By ERIC FRANCIS
Aries (March 20-April 19)
The approaching Full Moon is working to push a certain crucial discussion to the center of your life, and you may feel that your entire future is at stake. I can caution you that there is an exaggeration or distortion involved that's giving this situation the perception of more importance than it deserves. If it feels like a life-or-death matter involving an idea, you might want to question how such a thing is possible. What you do have available is an excellent opportunity to witness both yourself and the situation with a measure of distance or objectivity. To do that, you can start with taking a breath and accepting that you are safe and loved, no matter what the immediate circumstances may be telling you. From there, take the conversation slowly and remember -- no concept is worth dying for.
Taurus (April 19-May 20)
You may finally be allowing yourself a moment's peace. What you've been craving for the past few weeks is specifically a sense of emotional grounding, which you're not going to get by hashing over ideas or issues again and again. This is different than peace. Peace is also different than pushing an issue or perceiving life as a power struggle, which you seem to be doing more than usual lately. At a certain point, everyone on the way to becoming an adult learns to feel solid and secure within the present circumstances of their life, no matter what they are. At the least, you would need to trust yourself enough to make a decision when the time comes, and that time will be upon you soon enough. You seem to be making one mistake again and again, which is thinking you have to go it alone. Your peace of mind might come a lot more dependably if you let go of that particular thought.
Gemini (May 20-June 21)
You have recently passed the halfway point in a challenging and extraordinarily long journey. Did you know it when you got there? Did you feel the energy tip and the momentum of your existence shift in the direction of your destination? I trust that you did; the events of the past week or two have been so unusual, you surely must be aware that something unusual is developing. However, it was not unusual in the sense of water under the bridge, but rather in the sense of a major arrival or transition of which you are still standing close to the fulcrum. Remember these days, remember what you perceive, what you decide, and most of all, who comes into your life with a message that seems to contradict everything you ever knew -- but somehow makes perfect sense.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
As the Sun gets ready to make its annual entry into your birth sign, you may be confronted by a situation that seems polarized, out of your control or to have no obvious solution. Before I caution you against the presence of some distorting influence, I suggest you take the opportunity to go within and face the fears that may be arising. One of them may be the fear of isolation, or the gnawing sense that no matter how good your life is, emotional completion is somehow out of your reach. The more you face that fear, the more you will see the other side of the story, which is that you are in one of the most emotionally satisfying times of your life in many seasons or longer. The immediate feelings you're going through seem designed to teach you a process, which is about holding a space of contentment in the midst of emotional intensity, change and unexpected progress.
Leo (July 22-Aug. 23)
You seem uncertain of your direction in a particular relationship, and lately the issue may be taking on larger-than-life proportions. I suggest you do your best to live one day at a time, and by that I specifically mean not putting so many appointments in your date book. There may be nothing you can do about the mystery you face about whether a person close to you is indeed being true to you, no matter how much warrior spirit you muster up. There come those days when you have to sail in a fog and trust that your spiritual navigation equipment is guiding you in the right direction. To do that requires something that is, for many people, very challenging -- trusting that more than you trust your opinions, and more than you distrust the contradictory facts that confront you.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Are your old fears back to haunt you again, or are your safety and sanity well assured? It appears that both are true at the same time. Remember that fears are rarely based in reality. They are mental constructions that, in most cases, were given to us by other people and then took on sorry lives of their own. The only bearing they have on reality is that they tend to become true when we let their energy take over. You seem to believe that you're not bold or strong enough to lead your life as a creative experience. It's as though you must continue to throw the weight of your energy into emotional issues or "service" rather than creative endeavors about which you are passionate. You may fear that your insecurity will ban you from being the creative person you so deeply long to be. If this is true, it's only because you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps use that power another way.
Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
Events of the next week may push your beliefs, but they will strengthen your faith. They will teach you the difference, as well. Faith will get you far; belief is a two-edged sword and at the moment, both edges are particularly sharp. You may notice things that you don't want to believe; you may discover beliefs that you don't want. Remember, everything is in motion, everything is subject to revision, and above all, you must proceed in the course of any decision until you have as many facts as possible. A professional situation is developing rapidly and it may seem to call for action before you're really ready. The pressure is coming from the rapidly building Full Moon, which is exact on the 18th. The sticking point is being created by Mercury, which in truth should be in direct motion before you make any crucial decisions, and that happens the next day. So take your space and don't yield to the pressure.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
You may feel like you are moving into territory where you cannot discern the true opinions of others, and therefore cannot trust yourself. Yet at the moment, you need to maintain the quiet confidence that you have a clue, which is to say that you can apply that precious Scorpionic sixth sense and move through the world on intuition. You may get messages back from some inferior part of your psyche that you have no clue where you're going, or like all your good fortune is about to reverse itself. Get over it. True, the sky is a little weird at the moment and it's going to get stranger before normal people think things are normal again. None of this affects you: you can trust where you are, assuming you maintain awareness of who you are. You can trust people as long as you are listening to what they are saying, and discern a little of what they are not saying.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
You are taking the final steps toward completing a long stage of your life: a time of visioning and of manifestation; of widening your horizons and deepening them. This process is not over, if only because you learned it so well that in effect you became it. What is changing in this particular year is the need to connect your new visions with corresponding changes to the fundamental structure of your life, which you've no doubt had a taste of in the past two or three seasons. What you have started in this respect will continue -- it's as if the physical rearrangements you're involved with have taken on a life of their own. Now, one last dimension of your visioning process needs to be refined. Don't be afraid to change your plans, be they in your mind or on paper. Adjustments you make today will save you enormous work and expense in the future, and work to everyone's profit.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
Sometimes the best ideas have a difficult birth, or start as one thing and emerge in physical or intellectual reality as something else. You are in just such a process right now. Something is being altered, adjusted or amended; the conversation is emerging as it progresses, as if nobody really knows what they are talking about, yet at the same time what is coming up makes total sense. Therefore, your flexibility and open mind are the two most vital resources you can keep ready, and make a note that neither of them can be purchased or bartered. The same is true of you. Any financial transaction that takes place over the next two weeks represents a symbol of who you are, but is not a measure of your worth or value, to yourself or to anyone else. Remember this and you'll find a way to maintain your integrity while entering into the perfect compromise.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
You need to be mindful of the effect another person with an agenda is having on you. I am not inclined to say that someone has a plan you don't want to go along with, but I want to caution you that you are in a position to go along with something you don't want only because someone else is pushing you. Therefore, I suggest you delay decisions or commitments until you have a much clearer sense of where you stand with yourself. Many new creative and sexual horizons are opening up within you. You are seeing yourself from an angle you never imagined you could. The result could be liberating, but at the same time being in a state of flux makes you particularly vulnerable to ideas other than your own. The great news is that you have plenty of ideas that are coming right from you. If you're not discovering who you actually are, you are encountering many truly brilliant potentials. And at such a time, what you think is far more meaningful than what anyone else might think.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
If you're questioning whether the surge of personal growth you are going through is real, ask yourself if you've ever experienced anything like this before. True, you have your questions, but they are beautiful questions. You are discovering aspects to people that you didn't know were there; you are surely making the same kinds of discoveries about yourself. The beauty of these aspects is that they suggest a deep reconciliation between your inner masculine and inner feminine sides. Let it happen. If you have to let go of ideas about yourself that you held dear forever, don't worry about it, because you will love what replaces these old ideas and self-concepts. You'll know that the magic is working because when you meet the Masculine and the Feminine in the world, you will see them a new way; with confidence that can only come from embracing your most authentic self.