FEW people would take you for a radical, or even accuse you of being particularly visionary or idealistic. Besides serving as the perfect cover, the blessing and reward for the world not really comprehending your true identity is credibility. You know you have it, you know it's a precious commodity, and you don't want to squander it.
Many distrust those who advocate change, or they're threatened by the possibility. Besides which, change itself has a bad rap; it's usually presumed to mean for the worse. Your inherent respect for the necessary order of things, the depth of your understanding of our local slice of reality (town, city, company, kid's nursery school), and your minimalist approach to making improvements, all allow people to feel safe and stable under your influence and guidance. But mainly, your measured approach to life veils a values system that's nothing short of progressive, and at times verges on revolutionary, and in truth sees a world that is entirely subject to change.
Rarely has the feeling been so personal, however, and the sense of urgency that change is necessary is growing so strong that you may really be wondering how far you're going to go, once you get the real business of progress going. Fortunately, you have considerable experience to support your faith in yourself, which reassures you that you're standing on solid ground. Because I get the feeling you know big changes are necessary and you're the one who's going to initiate them. Some are personal, and some involve a community of some kind. For sure, how you handle your personal resources, from cash to talent, is due for a major overhaul.
And for certain, you have similar ideas wherever your personal life intersects with the people around you, which seems to be quite a lot these days, or your interest in getting involved is growing. You seem to be figuring out that the most important office to hold in any organization is treasurer. And certainly it's a valuable role to hold in your own life; I suggest you elect yourself.
In this and many other respects, you're going to be doing a lot of resources inventorying. This is more than a measure of self-respect or self-esteem; you need to do something more comprehensive, a room-by-room assessment of who you are, and what you have to offer. You will be surprised by what you find, because over the past several years, in many respects, you've had a tendency to minimize your own worth and have had a tendency to make sacrifices based on this.
Where you've made great strides is in taking possession and raising awareness about something intangible about yourself, which your "adult self" may be quite surprised you have so much faith in, but your real self knows is something basic and, indeed, has been a missing ingredient for a long time. And, having made contact with this, you now get to begin learning how to apply your resources to your own problems and situations; those of certain other individuals; and how to engage with a somewhat wider circle than your immediate friends and family in a helping role. As the years go on, in fact, this could become the quality in yourself you value most of all, and which is valued most by the people around you.
A brief review of recent history might be helpful. Chiron's journey through Capricorn spanned a nice even four years, from late 2001 through late 2005. This brought a wealth of experiences that in all honesty you never would have expected, desired or even considered yourself capable of. The result was to stretch your ideas of who you are, but not to the point of breaking. What gave way were certain internal barriers that kept awareness from one part of your mind away from certain other parts. The feeling of integrating and allowing the air to flow from one side of your brain to the other has been enlightening. That is, after you cleaned out those rooms -- a process that few people may have even been aware you were going through.
The many phases of this process put you in contact with just how inherently different you are, and moreover, how different you need to be. This transit is over, but what you learned will stay with you, and benefit you, for the rest of your life. At this moment, in these early days of the year, it's as if certain memories of the later stages of the journey are flooding back to you, and flushing you with memories of who you are on ever-deeper layers, ever further back in time. Capricorn is one of the signs that retains the memory of childhood most vividly, and what is now filling your consciousness is a peculiar but truly sweet sense of faith that you have not felt in many years.
But the inconveniences you endured in the most recent era of your life, you will leave behind. The ongoing breakthroughs, the sense of what you previously thought as reality giving way to something new, will deliver much more sustained rewards and reassurances for the future. Even the past year has been enough to base a movie on, and I'm sure that at times along the plotline you seriously questioned whether the whole process was worth it, even though you had little choice but to persist or endure.
Simultaneously, a situation in a relationship or partnership seemed to develop outside your control, as Saturn recently completed a transit through your solar 7th house in your opposite sign, Cancer. This transit is one of the classical "clearing processes" in astrology -- every time Saturn reaches an angular house, we make room for something new, and it can be painful, in your case because you had to confront your insecurities and make a series of decisions to let them go. But the chances are that you used the occasion to renew your commitment to someone, something, or both, while at the same time distinguishing yourself from that entity: in other words, you are likely to be living with both an enhanced sense of individuality and outer involvement, and are finding that, somehow, the two are not in conflict.
There were moments of doubt, but you are not one to give in to them, and fortunately, you did not do so. And there have been many reassuring moments, particularly one specific event or transition -- spanning about nine months sometime within those four years -- that shocked you into realizing that your life is your life, and nobody else's. That arrived with the recognition that what you share of yourself is what you share; there can be no demands, or expectations based on past commitment, and that is where you stand today. Whatever that event entailed, I suggest that you keep it fresh in your mind all the time, and not lose the benefits of this genuinely well-earned lesson.
With Saturn now pushing its way across Leo, you have entered entirely new territory, which casts you more as the protagonist of your own story rather than the stage manager of the drama. Leo and Saturn make an interesting, if not entirely agreeable, combination of energies, and the effect on you is a peculiar sensation that is constantly urging you to live your life in a more active, dynamic and outward way. You may be surprised at the involvements you crave and seek, which surely in the past you would have left to the realm of imagination or "the future." Now that you are living in the future, it's not so abstract, and the odd sense that you must take hold of your destiny is too tangible to ignore.
And more than ever, that is beginning to involve your connection points to others: all others, not "special" others or "significant" others. In many ways this false distinction has been ironed out and as a result of some extraordinary maturity, you see that people are people. At the same time, your usual reticence to plunge into shared arrangements, financial agreements, or sexual contacts, is giving way to the feeling of being enlivened by these experiences. If you're not yet a parent, the notion that you want a child may be making itself known to you, and along with that, the impulse to solidify a relationship commitment or find a marriage partner may be ringing like fire.
You may be recalling a time in your life when you were not only willing to make the first approach in any kind of shared arrangement, but felt comfortable doing so. Indeed, it never would have occurred to you to feel uncomfortable, so strong was your faith in yourself and your inner sense of maturity and confidence. What you are recovering here is the trust of a child, just as during the past few years you have let go of many of the misgivings that comprise the thinking of an adult.
I suggest that you look into the heart of your conflicts for opportunity. Imagine that each confrontation contains an immediately graspable clue as to what you really want, and what you are missing inside.
In fact, what you are inclined to doubt the most about yourself is what has the most likely chance of being real and true. You are being given the chance to address the source of your self-doubt, rather than implement a temporary or short-term solution. In seeing your fears and self-questioning for what they are, you can reach the roots of a matter that has at once caused you to feel alienated from the people around you.
The ultimate alienation, however, is from oneself, and when you reach a soon-to-arrive breakthrough point of inner contact -- long worked for and well earned -- you will see finally that people do appreciate and accept you, and always have. Which is excellent, because you know how much you have to offer, and you really do want and need to be appreciated for that.
Returning to the theme of resources, bringing things full circle here, your own considerable self-knowledge will be your most important resource in several specific vitally important meetings or encounters that occur throughout the year. This will be true no matter what their tone, whether they are even productive, or who ultimately benefits. These are encounters you will recognize immediately because you know there was a time in the recent past when you could not have handled them with the ease, confidence and clarity that you possess to handle them now, and, indeed, to turn them to everyone's benefit.
You are the one who decides what is right and wrong for you; no so-called morality can affect you, a fact which you were deeply in touch with long ago; which is becoming fully apparent now; and which is the essence of being an independent and self-determined human being.
