Photo by Priya Kale.
Eric is currently in transit back to Europe after two months in the States. This week's essay is his April Fool's parody edition from Chronogram magazine in New York. Some of the jokes are local but not too local for fun.


By Eric Francis

New Paltz Offers Custom-Contaminated Rooms
RESPONDING TO an ever-increasing demand for its toxic dormitories, SUNY New Paltz is now offering custom-contaminated rooms to its students. Sophomores and higher will be given priority for this service, and, for a cost of $500 extra per semester, a student may choose the exact proportions of supertoxins they desire in their living environment.

Until recently, students who lived in dorms damaged in the infamous 1991 chemical fires on the campus had no idea what toxins they were getting, or how much. "This is seen as a breakthrough for consumer rights," the Oracle student newspaper said in a recent editorial.

Custom combinations of dioxins, furans, benzene, dioxin-like PCBs, and ordinary PCBs will be available for students to choose from. Thanks to a new contract with the New York State Department of Health, the campus is able to offer rare and exotic polychlorinated quaterphenyls, the previous existence of which at New Paltz was only rumored.

"Everyone knows our buildings are toxic," said Karen Cowtaw, director of Campus Residence Life. "We want our students to know exactly what they're getting. So now they can actually choose." Bliss and Scudder halls will be devoted to dioxins and Capen and Gage halls will be reserved mainly for PCBs, but there will be some overlap because so many PCBs actually mimic the toxicity of dioxin.

Health officials usually recommend the lighter-chlorinated PCBs such as Monsanto's Aroclor 1016, but strongly suggest opting for the heavier dioxins such as OCDD (octochlorinated dibenzo-para-dioxin), which provides the full satisfaction of a supertoxin but is less damaging to the endocrine system. "OCDD is practically good for you," said one high-ranking county health official, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "Even fetuses just love it. But don’t leave it out in the sun."

Dr. Blarney Stone, the maverick state scientist who assisted in revealing the broad extent of contamination in Gage Hall in 1994, said, "It's a great idea as long as nobody living there plans to have kids. But if you don't mind birth defects, you have nothing to worry about."

All the chemicals that will be applied to the dorms are certified as pure by a New York State-endorsed lab. Beginning in the fall of 2007, there will also be a corresponding custom nutritional toxins program offered by Food Service.

Upon checking into their dorms, all students will also be issued a free copy of the seminal work, Our Stolen Future, by Dr. Theodore Colborn.

Scooter Libby Sentenced to 10 Years on Fox
Scooter Libby has been sentenced to 10 years as a reality-show host on Fox News. Prosecutors and Fox producers are still working out the details, but the show is expected to be a smash hit from its first season.

Libby, a former vice-presidential aide, was convicted last month of lying to federal prosecutors and a grand jury during the investigation into the Valerie Plame-Wilson spy-outing affair, and will begin serving his sentence as soon as sponsors are signed on. The most likely at this point are Halliburton and the Carlyle Group, though American Airlines has expressed a strong interest.

"We feel the punishment fits the crime," said Patrick Fitzgerald, the Republican special counsel and impresario who got Libby convicted. "He's a talented liar, we give him credit for that. It's just too bad he lied to us. But lying to the public is perfectly legal. And they will love it. He's actually a very entertaining liar," said Fitzgerald. "I credit myself with having discovered him."

One proposal for the program calls for the scene to be in an ancient Roman court, where Libby must act the part of an advisor to the emperor, who is suffering from lead poisoning. It will be a story of intrigue, treachery, and betrayal. Special guests will include Oliver North, the star of a previous reality show called "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," and Noam Chomsky, who will whisper carefully chosen bits of political philosophy into Libby's ear as a form of legal torture.

Libby's program will appear opposite Countdown with Keith Olbermann weeknights at 8pm, which Fox officials hoped would be devastating to the ratings of their nemesis.

In an alternate version of the program, Libby will be locked into a house with various pundits, who will engage in a hard game of obscuring the facts and distorting reality in an effort to protect the administration. Libby also has a short list of disloyal intelligence operatives that he will expose. Fitzgerald would, under this scenario, make several appearances on the program the first season. Libby and several congressional representatives will also spend a week locked into the house with Plame-Wilson and her husband, former ambassador Joseph Wilson IV. "The public will watch them get to know one another as men, not just as adversaries," said a Fox spokesman.

Petty Tyrants Conference Coming to Mohonk
The American Association of Petty Tyrants, or AAPT, will be holding its annual meeting at Mohonk Preserve in September. The national organization, formed in the wake of the September 11 events, will bring at least 1,000 uptight tourists to the area for a week of fun and control.

The week of the conference, local speed limits will be reduced by 5 mph without corrections being made to road signs, and New Paltz will double its road patrols. Local bars will be participating in the festivities by closing their doors at 1am, and stores will arbitrarily refuse to accept returned items, such as defective flashlights. A number of restaurants will assist by refusing to provide water without ice to customers.

AAPT members include certain distinguished school administrators, rent-a-cops of the rank of corporal and above, assistant managers, distinguished land surveyors, and chronic litigants in civil lawsuits. AAPT also accepts freelance petty tyrants as long as they pass a qualifying exam, conducted once every 10 years.

At the conference, several of the attendees will be elevated to grand tyrant, which will make them eligible for the World Tyrant Excellence Competition, to be held in Washington, DC, next year.

Sex Co-Op Finally Opens in High Falls
After a very long discussion and much planning, the High Falls Sex Co-Op opened April 1, providing a source of easily available, wholesome nookie for the Hudson Valley community. Members will volunteer four hours per month at the new co-op, providing a diversity of services from erotic massage to talking dirty. Believed to be the first such experiment of its kind in the United States, the co-op was featured in USA Today last week.

"Everyone will be vegan and organically certified," said Rainbow Raven Bear, the co-founder of the co-op. "We want to give people a pure service. And not only that, they have to be friendly, unless of course they specialize in the bitch or asshole fetish." Raven Bear said that most of the organization's volunteers are bisexual, which will provide greater flexibility and opportunity for the uninitiated to have their first same-sex erotic experience in a safe environment.

The sex co-op concept goes back 10 years to a Scorpio birthday party in Tillson, where it was unanimously agreed that more sex in the community was necessary.

"Everyone is always trying to get sex, but nobody seems to want to give it," said Varuna Indra Mithra, who was at the original party and helped brainstorm the concept the night of the Taurus Full Moon in 1997. "The idea is simple -- qualified people volunteer to give organic sex for four hours a month, and if you do the math, you will see that it won't take long before everyone gets laid regularly."

The co-op will feature a bookshelf with titles such as The Ethical Slut and Vestal Secrets: My Life as a Sacred Whore, as well as an herbal section with various tinctures such as canchalagua, horny goat weed, yohimbe, and onions.

Certain oral delicacies will also be offered. In addition, there will be sex discussion groups held several times a week, as well as feature films on the bonobo chimpanzees, promptly followed by an organic group masturbation ritual. For those adjusting to monogamous life, one weekend a month will be reserved for strictly one-on-one casual sex.

Find Your Soul's True Greed Workshop
Spiritual Greed Intensive will be coming to the Siddhartha Ashram of Eclectic Buddhism in Loch Sheldrake, in mystical Sullivan County, later this summer. Taught by Gurumore, who is a big hit in New Delhi and Los Angeles, the Living True Greed Truly seminar will help enable participants to balance the demands of being highly spiritual and simultaneously deeply materialistic.

"This takes more than slapping a Greenpeace sticker on your Hummer," said Swami Attachinanda, who will assist the Master in offering the divine teaching. "Stretching one’s soul between the arrogance of greed and the humility of the spiritual life presents a rare opportunity for embracing contradictions and thus resolving karma," he added.

Gurumore will explain the subtle differences between bigger, better, and best while preserving an atmosphere of inspired greed and chanting om shanti at the cash register.

Cooking with Your Totem Animals
Native American spiritual leaders teach that the best way to take in the energy of your totem animal is to eat it for lunch. The workshop will start with the basic recipes, such as bearburger, raven pie, wolf chow mein, and chicken noodle soup. The presenter, Chef Chief Laughing Broccoli, is the author of Endangered Fare, the leading cookbook for things like whale, alligator, and those little peeping frogs that keep disappearing all the time.


Photo by Eric Francis.

By Judith Gayle

HERE WE ARE in Easter week, and I note that CNN is giving us a big special about Christianity, tapping in to the expertise of Fundamentalists like Jerry Falwell. That's like asking Osama bin Laden to define being Muslim, like discussing the historical relevance of the U.S. Constitution with George Bush, who has (in)famously called it "...just a goddamn piece of paper." I'm not sure who watches stuff like this, but somebody must. The Catholics might, to catch affronts to their own dogma, and probably won't take much joy in the Evangelicals' understanding of Christ. They're in a bit of a snit now anyhow because someone has thought to produce a 200-pound, six-foot rendering of Jesus made entirely of chocolate (the offering is entitled "My Sweet Lord.") It's anatomically correct chocolate, they say, which is probably what the flap is about. Avatars may NOT have a penis...much as Disney cartoon characters may have no suspicious bulges or overtly sexual characteristics.

We're nuts. Have you noticed?

In other improbable news, Michael Jackson is planning a comeback including a world tour to kick off at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas. He's building a 50-foot robotic replica of himself that shoots lasers as it stands looming over the desert floor -- the better to attract planes flying over, say reports. If you saw a hulking, laser-spitting no-nosed robotic thing grab its crotch from the window of your plane, wouldn't you wonder if you were in an old "Twilight Zone" episode? That's even a bit much for Glitter Gulch.

While we're talking mindless pap, months after Anna Nicole's death, and weeks after Nancy Grace has wrung any last bit of mystery and pathos out of her autopsy reports, we still don't know who Dannielynn's father is. Never has sperm proved so interesting or DNA results so hard to come by. Howard K. Stern is being sized up as either Svengali or Barnum, perhaps both...and we may still be talking about this NEXT Easter.

I should include the story of Gaylord the Ostrich's untimely demise here -- he was put upon by a guy attempting to impress a girl, and Gaylord kicked the crap out of him, which sent the girl into a fit of laughter. The guy's ego was so battered by that episode that he got a buddy and snuck up on Gaylord in the dark later that evening, shooting and killing him. The man served a few months for his crime and was required to undergo counseling. I think he should have been sent to Iraq or Afghanistan, where they shoot back -- that much unsupervised testosterone needs a place to go.

Does this kind of thing worry you at all? Does it appear that we've lost our collective sense sometime back and now anything goes -- anything at all? Is it possible that we've all gone whackadoodle without noticing the slow slip into darkness? Because -- honest -- we're being barraged with this kind of nonsense day in, day out, and we don't even flinch when we hear it. An average day in America is beginning to feel a lot like a page torn out of the National Enquirer, and nobody seems to have noticed.

Politics is no more enlightened than pop culture, of course -- it just takes a little more intellect to examine it.

Mr. Bush has recently had several brief meltdowns, televised, to show his disapproval of the new Democratic push for accountability, the administration's first actual taste of Congressional oversight. In one of his recent performances regarding the proposed timeline in Iraq, he blasted the Dems for "playing politics." This is the kind of thing that makes me mouth breathe, big-eyed and speechless. With the last seven years breaking down into the most politically partisan, perhaps even criminally so, since the "g.d. piece of paper" was signed, who can hear this kind of remark and not choke on their coffee, dribble it down their front? Well, I did. I didn't even react that incredulously when I heard that Keith Richards pounded up a bit of his dead father's ashes in a line of blow and snorted him. Keith is a hedonistic freak but at least he's honest. Bush can't actually believe the things he says, can he? If he does, we're even worse off than we think.

I worry that something's in the water. I worry that we not only don't believe the stuff we read and hear, but we know we're being manipulated and lied to and are just too lethargic to care. Nothing is actually real to us -- it's all entertainment. I'm concerned that we're forgetting what actual common sense sounds like, what intelligence requires of us, and why it's important. I worry that Bush has set the bar so low on leadership that we'll be thrilled if someone merely adequate comes along, someone slightly articulate -- someone who would lead us back into the 20th century. I fret that we don't understand that the last seven years have been some kind of frightful anomaly, an aberration; it only takes seven years for every cell in our bodies to renew itself. What if we think this is "real"?

I suppose we can pin some of it on the Neptune transit -- a kind of delusional, magical mystery tour through the dreamscapes, and a real aversion to wanting to deal with all that's damned awful lately. But Pluto has no such shimmery edges, and it's going to back up again to revisit its friend the Galactic Core; maybe that's where our original blueprint resides. Maybe the Big Guy could check to see where we went so Gawd Awful Wrong. Pluto takes no prisoners -- it's got that big wingspan and razor-sharp claws that got Gaylord the Ostrich in trouble. If we need a little trip back through "what's wrong," I'm hoping we can count on Pluto to provide it like a splash of ice water to our sensibilities. If we don't get through our adolescent memes and on into some kind of adult behavior soon, God/dess may just close this little experiment as an abject failure.

I am hopeful, though...you, dear reader, make me hopeful. The kids are beginning to rouse themselves, too. I read that students at Brigham Young actually protested and booed Cheney, recently. Seriously -- if it can happen at Brigham Young, it can happen anywhere. When the young adults of today make up the demographic, we won't have to worry about things like the denying of gay marriage or missing health care for millions. They're more progressive than the generations before them give them credit for. We just need to make sure there's still a planet for them to populate.

I'm also hoping that the Bunny brings me a little bittersweet chocolate Jesus in my basket this year. I'm hoping that the ham I bought on sale isn't filled with hormones and antibiotics. I'm hoping that there will be intelligent conversation around the dinner table, that Anna Nicole's name won't come up, and that George Bush doesn't televise a Holiday Greeting to ruin my day, because every time I look at him I think about what this country USED to be and what it is now.

Yes, hopeful. We still have the potential to enter the 21st century, to consider ourselves global citizens, to work together to put our world back into order. I'm hoping we'll startle ourselves awake at some point like an old hippie after an acid flashback, suddenly sober and sufficiently anxious to make the necessary corrections. Still -- here's my advice, just in case: I'd avoid drinking the water, if I were you, unless you know for sure it hasn't been messed with. We've got a way to go before the energies clear these bizarre dreams, and there's no sense taking chances.

May your Holiday, whatever your religious or spiritual tradition, bring you a clear-eyed, rational bit of joy. May the Bunny bring you something to make you smile, and may you be surrounded with laughter and love. Laughter and love, by the way, are the antidotes for every worrisome thing out there -- use them frequently, and with confidence.


Photo by Priya Kale.

By Priya Kale

YOU ARE at an interesting juncture in your life, almost as if you are in between two realities. You seem to have undergone a tremendous transformation and emerged on the other side, but suddenly you might be questioning yourself. Do you know what you want? How smart are you? Are you sure you want what you want? As Mars your ruling planet enters your 12th solar house Pisces -- Gemini in the Thema Mundi -- you are being led into a mystery zone with a prominent theme of dualism. You may not have the answers at this moment, but what you discover as a result of your journey through the next few seasons will provide some priceless revelations.

Generally, you are not given easily to introspection when you could be climbing ladders instead; this is a particularly challenging quest as you deal with the slipperiness of Pisces and the 12th house and the airy duality of Gemini. It may feel like you are trying to change a light bulb while the house is flooded and furniture is floating around. Everything seems to have shifted or is shifting right now, and it's like you can't find your way around your own house. This is a time of deep inner seeking; do all you can to not lose sight of that. If you feel like you are grasping in the dark, you are probably doing the right thing; this process is what's important, so immerse yourself in it.

You are entering a period of completion, and this is a time for reflecting and evaluating rather than staying and conquering. This is a transitional period where you are being asked to look at what situations in your life work and what don't. Go deep when searching for those answers, and take your next steps accordingly; what you see on the surface is almost never going to be all of the story, so be mindful of the difference between intuition and your own projections. Another factor, emphasizing the stop and review quality of this phase, is Jupiter retrograde in a fire sign, which is also asking you to pause, reflect and consider your beliefs before charging ahead with new plans.

You are recently coming out of a notably public phase that at times has been confrontational and at other times nothing short of a social trapeze act. You may have allowed outside factors to influence you unduly during this period. Be aware of others' influences on you as you move forward; if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. As you enter this next phase of introspection, you realize the need to start doing things differently and by your own rules.

Social acceptance is surely desirable; however, right now it is more important to be your own best friend. You are at a critical turning point when it comes to your friends so choose wisely; align with those who will help your creative and spiritual growth rather than just be "happy hour" friends. This is a wise investment not only in those truly worthy people in your life but also in yourself, as you surround yourself with people who are supportive of your life's mission and have a healthy sense of their own.

In your personal life, for a while now, it may have seemed as if you were being stretched internally, making it hard to figure out the right way to proceed. Recently, though, there might have been a revelation, or a relationship might have reached a peak. These developments are causing you to relate with partners on a deeper level of intimacy, honesty and openness. Share yourself with those who are willing to share with you. If you feel like something is amiss or foggy, pause and question the true motives of everyone involved. It's important to keep in mind, however, that you could also be projecting your own fears onto relationships, so be aware of that distinction. You are indeed on a soul journey, and it is important that you have a partner who understands and is encouraging of this.

While all of this takes place behind the veil of your mind, the Sun is approaching a grand fire trine with Jupiter and Leo. This suggests that on the surface you are ready to run full steam ahead. The trap with this configuration is that it is too easy to get caught up in a whirlpool effect of action which eventually ends up leading you right back to where you started. Avoid falling into an easy routine, because it's -- well -- easy. As you look for ways to move out of your comfort zone, Neptune and Chiron in a kite formation are tugging at this vortex with two very opposite energies, bringing back the theme of duality. Avoid falling into unhealthy dependencies that are so common with the dark side of Neptune, but rather go with the higher vibration of Chiron that can only lead to immense personal growth.

During the second half of the year as Saturn moves into an earth sign, Virgo, you may feel like you have a lot to do, but remember that while you have a lot to accomplish, this pressure for time is internal. Take into consideration the deep internal changes you are going through, and consciously work with what you are learning. You are building your dreams here, but before you lay down even one brick, you need to have a vision.

What is it that you yearn for, how wild are your fantasies? This is about a balance between creative thinking and a dedication to disciplined implementation of those ideas. Anything you can dream you have the dedication to do, but take your time to paint that picture clearly before you get bogged down by minor details. Imagine building your dream home with no idea of what it's going to look like. Imagine it, see it, then get down to working out the blueprint and laying the foundation.

This year you have an encounter with the abyss, the depths of which you could not have fathomed. As you navigate through this unfamiliar landscape, anytime you find yourself feeling a little lost, be armed with the knowledge that this is exactly where you need to be. This is a year for deep introspection by the end of which you will emerge with brilliant clarity, a solid awareness of who you are and what you want and how it is you can achieve it. This year as you empower yourself with self-awareness, the future will reveal itself with infinite potential.


Photo by Priya Kale.

Weekly Horoscope for Friday, April 06, 2007, #657 - By ERIC FRANCIS

Aries (March 20-April 19)
Lately it seems as if you go someplace to ponder the most meaningful subjects in your life, then step outside that room and forget everything you worked out. You're about to remember it all, in waves of déjà vu. I trust that you'll get the message that you must maintain an open dialog with your fears, your needs and your deepest desires. The three are related, if only by the intensity of emotion, an odd common sensation they share, and your propensity to deny them. Yet events in these days of your life should at least remind you that denial is not the path to anything but itself. Life is affirmed and moved forward by the thought, the feeling and the word yes.
 
Taurus (April 19-May 20)
You have been involved in a dialog so intimate that it's been like having a long talk with yourself. There has been a liberating quality to the communication and to what you've learned about your inner landscape and the nature of how you respond when you're presented with positive vibes, encouragement and appreciation. You would do well to wonder how you've survived this long with less of these nutrients than you need, but you are made of tough stuff. Endurance is good; getting what you need is better.
 
Gemini (May 20-June 21)
It's taken a bit longer than you've been expecting to secure a deal, arrangement or agreement. But all the important elements are now in place, and the most likely successful strategy will be to live and act as if you are who you want to be, doing what you want to do. Your perception of yourself shapes how others perceive you; indeed, it's the single most influential factor. Try and see. Your vision of yourself will take shape in the world, even as you imagine it. Your ideas shape your environment even as you think of them. Beware, this is a ridiculous amount of power, and it's now in your hands.
 
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
A message is coming in, and it involves not only what you do in the world, but why you do it. The development is in both dimensions simultaneously: action, and its motives. It looks like you're getting an update to your original instructions, which will offer you an unusual opportunity to point your life in a new direction. Whatever develops may seem relatively small at first, minor in the scheme of things, but it appears to be wearing a disguise. It's not necessarily about your work, but what you do every day is deeply involved. A personal liaison could morph into a bold and liberating adventure.
 
Leo (July 22-Aug. 23)
The Sun making its way across fire sign Aries is widening your perspective on life. From this angle of the cosmos, there are more possibilities, more time, and the feeling of a greater likelihood that your highest aspirations have enough merit to be taken seriously by the cosmos. I suggest you keep a discussion going. You may have been reticent to speak too openly about what's so deeply important to you, but the moment is changing, and it seems time to bring a few more people in on the discussion. Take what everyone says with a grain of salt, or as the case may be, pepper.
 
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Luckily for you and everyone, you change, grow and evolve in quick spurts. These generally come between intervals of thinking about it for a long time, and despite doing so. Reality rarely works out according to your mental plans, and while they do serve a purpose, if you invest your energy on the emotional level for the time being, the return will probably be a lot more nourishing. As Mars makes its way across your solar 7th house of direct encounters with others, people may be making hot approaches to you, even if they have an air of refinement about them. Underneath, fire is fire. Handle it gently, and remember it's there to warm you.
 
Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
You are reaching the end of a phase of your life and may be meeting unexpected complications coming to closure with certain people and recent past events -- which have, I trust, been unusually satisfying. There may be moments when you feel your world is ending, but in fact you are just going through a deeper-than-normal transition that will lead you distinctly to a beginning. It's one of those situations where difficulty comes before ease, particularly difficulty saying what you need to say, and perhaps hearing what others need to say. The most wholesome thing you can do at this point is gently keep the discussion focused on what matters. Do not waste your words, but don't hoard them, either.
 
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
Maintain your awareness of what the people closest to you, or someone in particular, is experiencing. Mind your psychic manners and don't take their turning points or difficulties personally; they have very little to do with you, though naturally, you are subject to anything in your environment. You are in that delicate situation of needing to set your own needs aside, while at the same time needing to be supportive, conscious and not get in the way. Actually, this is less of a balancing act than it seems on paper. You are well placed to defer your own needs for a little while, which is really all that's necessary.
 
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
You appear to be having a positive effect on someone close to you, even though they may be masking the extent of your impact on his or her life. Though you're a potent force, they are, however, making up their own mind about who they want to be. You're a kind of model, but their vision is the one that's shaping their actual choices and their personal values are at work behind the many evaluations and self-assessments they are going through. Meanwhile, keep having fun, keep defining success your way, and remember that you teach by your being rather than the words you say. For you who love words, this may be an odd idea. By now, though, you have sufficient evidence to know that what you do is more important than what you say.
 
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
I don't think every part of a person grows at the same time. In the cosmic gymnasium, some days we work on our arms and some days we work on our abs. These days you are working on your voice. You are learning words, and tones of speaking, and how to integrate what you feel with what you say. Notice what you're saying when your voice goes hoarse. Notice how you're breathing as you speak, and when the air gets caught in your throat. It's not easy learning strange new words, or learning to express unfamiliar ideas, but at this moment, every such achievement will lift a burden from your heart.
 
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
Lois Rodden, one of the more influential astrologers of the past few decades, was clear that "Mars is the money planet." Mars has now entered your solar house of money, an assertive and passionate energy that is now conjunct the cool, calculating and extremely intelligent asteroid Pallas Athene. This is an excellent combination for you who want to be a little more lavish with your necessities and better able to sponsor your desires. Negotiation is the skill of the hour. Just remember, you're negotiating from a position of strength, that is, from a position of having rather than not having. You did not come this far purely by accident, and you now have some excellent new skills you can put to work.
 
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Typically, the growth of one person is plenty to manage, such as yourself. The interesting thing about relationships is that the world exists in stereo, and the experience of two or more people harmonizes more or less effectively. Mercury, the difficult-to-fathom planet of relationship for Pisces, has been visiting your sign lately, providing a diversity of reassuring experiences, or at least some useful information. Next week, he/she/it ingresses Aries, and the lights come on regarding an important subject that deserves and will benefit from discussion about what is the most important to you and anyone you care about. Pay attention, and take a little advice from Mars: remember what you want; and from Mercury, and put it into words.